i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
