can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
