Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize