i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
