That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
