the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
