Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
