i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
