I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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