i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This is my life. Enjoy the view
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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