is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
