come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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