Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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