I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
