I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
