He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
