my phone cant type all the emotion im having
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
