I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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