Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
