we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
