I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
