hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
