His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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