I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
