New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize