; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
