I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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