Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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