youre lurking in front of me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
