cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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