from now on my penis is your penis
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize