All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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