another moral hangover. fuck.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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