Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Houston, we have a blender
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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