you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
