so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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