Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
