After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
