God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize