In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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