Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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