don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
