he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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