How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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