Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
