i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize