So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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