Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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