It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You made out with two different species that night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
