She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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