We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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