There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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