I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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