Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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