Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
