One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
