does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wish i was in the wii world.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
