Do you still have your period?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
