Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My pussy is not your playground.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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