Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
