is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
