i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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