I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize