Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize