can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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