Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
