lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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