Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
