what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
