You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
