my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
