Walk of Shame. In a state park.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Terrible idea I love it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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