Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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