So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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