yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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