She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize