i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
