I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
