white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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