this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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