It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
