My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
