just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
