I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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