I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
