i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
